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CFB Week 4 winners and losers: Auburn and Missouri play the worst sport ever

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Week 4 of faculty soccer has come and gone, with some welcome adjustments which might be mirrored within the polls. We had loopy endings everywhere in the nation, one other coach bought fired, and there have been some spectacular performances throughout.

Georgia was examined by…Kent State? Chase a bag, Golden Flashes, chase a bag. Ohio State continued their pattern of being mindmeltingly superior on offense by demolishing Wisconsin on Saturday night time, and HOW ‘BOUT THOSE UNDEFEATED JAYHAWKS?

Nonetheless, it’s a new week, which implies we’ve got one other version of winners and losers, beginning with a historic efficiency from… Fordham?

Winner: Fordham WR Fotis Kokosioulis

In the event you would’ve informed me in the beginning of the season that essentially the most spectacular receiving efficiency of the season to this point can be from Fordham-Ohio I may need laughed you out of the room. Nonetheless, Fordham receiver Fotis Kokosioulis completely put Ohio in a blender on Saturday.

Kokosioulis had 13 catches for 320 YARDS and 4 touchdowns of their loss to Ohio, setting the document for many receiving yards in a sport for the Patriot League. Kokosioulis completely crushed Bobcat defenders from the slot, and pulled away from defenders on an 84 yard landing as properly.

You know the way spectacular it’s to account for nearly 64% of your groups’ total passing offense? ON 13 CATCHES? That’s virtually 25 yards per catch, in an precise soccer sport! AND THEY LOST! If it have been me, I’d be heated if I put up virtually as many receiving yards as Iowa has complete passing yards and we misplaced the sport.

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Both means, Kokosioulis will get a helmet sticker, and possibly the longest ice bathtub within the historical past of ice baths.

Loser: everybody who watched Auburn-Missouri

To everybody who watched the Auburn-Missouri “soccer” sport:

I’m so sorry. There needs to be medical compensation for us.

The Tiger Struggle was extra like a Tiger… pillow struggle, with each groups attempting their hardest to lose the sport. The Auburn Tigers solely ran for 1.8 yards per carry towards the SEC’s worst speeding protection, whereas Missouri acquired the abilities of 5 star freshman receiver Luther Burden within the earlier recruiting cycle, and he had a grand complete of… zero touches. That’s good soccer.

On prime of that, this occurred within the second half:

For the folks counting at residence, that’s 12 consecutive punts. Kirk Ferentz is someplace salivating at this graphic, wishing he had the would possibly to punt 12 straight instances.

Auburn received in additional time 17-14, however not earlier than this sport bought any extra silly. The Auburn Tigers tried to go for it on fourth and one to proceed on their potential sport successful drive— and naturally they didn’t get it. The Missouri Tigers went on a 9 play drive to get all the way in which all the way down to the Auburn eight yard line, then took two knees to arrange Harrison Mevis for a sport successful subject aim, who, thoughts you, doesn’t apply kicks in pregame.

And…

This was punishment for the school soccer fan from God, forcing this sport to proceed.

Begrudgingly, we head to OT, the place Auburn virtually throws an interception on the drive, however kicks a subject aim to go up 17-14. Missouri will get the ball again, and that’s when issues get fascinating. The Tigers have an opportunity to win the sport with a landing, and RB Nathaniel Peat noticed daylight. Sadly, he solely prolonged the ball with one hand, and the ball bought knocked out. Fortunately, this sport was over.

This sport was miserable to observe. Neither offense might get something going, and neither teaching workers really appeared ready for this sport. Auburn head man Bryan Harsin is teaching for his job each week, and boy he should’ve been packing his luggage as Missouri arrange for a subject aim. Missouri, eager to torture Auburn followers, gave the win to the Tigers, guaranteeing no less than yet another week of Harsin ball. Struggle Eagle.

Winner: Stephen F. Austin

Stephen F. Austin?

(/crowd: what?)

The Lumberjacks?

(/crowd: what?)

The satisfaction of Nacogdoches, Texas?

(/crowd: what?)

Texas’ finest soccer group?

(/crowd: what?)

The Lumberjacks opened a Steveweiser and cracked open a can of whoop ass on poor previous Warner College, successful 98-0.

That’s proper.

98 factors.

98.

The Lumberjacks had extra passing yards than Warner had complete yards. QBs mixed to throw for eight touchdowns, and so they set the WAC document for factors in a sport.

The craziest half is that they might’ve had 100, however they kneeled on the 2 level conversion to finish the sport.

They kneeled.

Me personally, I’m not taking that form of disrespect. In the event you’re gonna beat me, beat me by 100. I wish to go down in historical past because the worst loser. Stab me within the chest with the sword, don’t make me commit seppuku. Beat me like a person! Have some satisfaction!

The Lumberjacks put up extra factors in a sport than Northwestern has your entire season. They threw for extra touchdowns on this sport than Iowa has in any respect this season. What I’m attempting to say right here is: put Stephen F. Austin within the Huge Ten West and so they would possibly win it.

Loser: Arkansas Okay Cam Little

I truthfully haven’t any phrases to explain what occurred in Arkansas-Texas A&M. Each time they get collectively issues simply get actually bizarre and insane, and you recognize somebody’s going residence drunk (in the event that they make it residence). The 2022 model of this sport had all of it. A&M discovered an offense (kinda), Arkansas QB KJ Jefferson slowly transferring folks out of his means like a carnival float, and a fumble restoration handed off to a teammate who then scored a TD.

Nonetheless, kicker Cam Little will all the time be remembered, not due to making a subject aim, no. He’ll be remembered for this:

Sure, that ball hit the highest of the goalpost and careened away, making it no good and the Aggies win. In my 22 years of life, I’ve seen numerous doinks. I’ve seen quiet doinks, I’ve seen loud doinks.

I’ve by no means seen this ever in my life.

I don’t assume Little might do that once more if he tried, not to mention in probably the most excessive stress conditions in soccer. I don’t even assume trick shot artists might do that!

I actually simply wish to give Little a hug. It’ll be alright, man.

Winner: Texas Tech

How ‘bout these Purple Raiders? Texas Tech surprised Texas 34-31 in additional time, with star Longhorn RB Bijan Robinson fumbling within the Longhorn’s first drive in additional time.

It wasn’t all the time fairly for the Purple Raiders; Texas was up 31-17 halfway via the third quarter. However one factor Joey McGuire has instilled in his group is the flexibility to struggle once they have been down. That is the second sport the Purple Raiders have performed that’s gone into OT, and so they’re now 2-0.

Plus, Joey McGuire stated this after the sport, which made me wish to run via the closest brick wall:

Loser: Michigan State

Sparty… is all the things okay? Michigan State was boat raced by Minnesota 34-7 on Saturday, and the Spartans offense solely managed to realize 240 complete yards. Every week after being dominated by Washington on the highway.

Michigan State appears to haven’t any course offensively. Placing all of the belief on QB Payton Thorne’s shoulders isn’t going as anticipated (132 yards and a couple of INTs), and there hasn’t been a receiver that stepped up exterior of Jayden Reed.

Defensively, they may have greater points. After I inform you they bought walked throughout, I imply it. The Golden Gophers ran for 240 yards, on 5 yards per carry. It appeared like regardless of the Gophers wished offensively, they might have it. Michigan State introduced in so many transfers on that aspect of the ball to get the ball rolling, and it simply hasn’t labored.

The Spartans schedule received’t get simpler, dealing with Wisconsin, Ohio State and Michigan in three of the subsequent 5 weeks. Head coach Mel Tucker goes to need to try to determine one thing out, as a result of that protection can not proceed to get run into the bottom within the Huge Ten.



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