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“Those that dare vs those that don’t. You received’t know until you do it.” These are the issues that attracted me to the Web and to Social Media within the early days. It was freedom. Something was attainable. Issues have, clearly, modified. Some for the higher and a few not a lot. I too have modified. Once more, some for the higher and a few not a lot.
I used to be made conscious of the “incident” on Sunday, twelfth July. I watched the video on Monday, thirteenth July and have since been studying the reactions and information items and have spent a significantly massive period of time interested by it and writing about it and subsequently debating whether or not I ought to even trouble publishing it.
DISCLOSURES
At varied factors in my profession, I’ve labored as a blogger and social media “influencer”, with Indian and Worldwide manufacturers. So, you may say that I’m a part of the “influencer group” peripherally. As far I do know, there isn’t a group as such. Simply barely hid jealousy and hatred. However I’m a cynical bastard, so take every thing with a pinch of salt.
I’ve met Santoshi exactly as soon as at a “Blogger Awards” occasion the place influencers have been flown down from varied Indian cities to Delhi. It was evident to me, that I not belonged to the “influencer crowd” and that the Bombay Ladies have been a unique league altogether. Assume extra “Bollywood” and “Movie star” than my uncouth ass may ever be. So, add one other pinch of salt to no matter I say. I’m 40 years outdated and I’ve a sure disdain for skinny, tall, younger women who’ve taken Instagram with a storm. They’re all stunning and never afraid to flaunt it. Me alternatively, I like my denims and mens shirts and a half-shaved head and saying “fuck” even after I’m a keynote speaker. Anyway, let’s get on with the deets.
WHAT HAPPENED
Santoshi is a well-liked Instagrammer from India. She is 26 years outdated. A scholar of Structure. She lives in Bombay. Her beforehand well-liked weblog The StyleEdge, has not seen an replace since August 2019. Santoshi posted an IGTV video on her Instagram channel. Right here’s a hyperlink to the IGTV video ( this was later deleted by Santoshi ) : https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x7v1kcq
THE ATTACKS
Virtually ALL the information items and the outrage was centered across the assertion that Santoshi had supplied “remedy” or “psychological well being” or “counselling” classes and she or he had the audacity to ask to be paid for these when she has no qualification as a psychological well being practitioner.
The IGTV video doesn’t point out the phrase “remedy” even as soon as.
Neither does it point out “psychological well being” or “counselling”.
And but, someway, the video was misconstrued as providing psychological well being recommendation or remedy. Numerous therapists have publicly posted their very own horrified reactions. They’re in all probability aggravated {that a} non-therapist can ask for cash so that individuals can speak to her however the therapists themselves aren’t valued sufficient in India. It’s true. Psychological Well being is a joke in India, nonetheless, sadly. “You need to see a therapist” is an insult. “I’m seeing a therapist” is harmful to say publicly. And as with most issues in India, there’s a LOT of individuals posing as therapists and providing remedy to unsuspecting individuals.
I may interpret the IGTV video’s contents as being “problematic” in that they allude to offering remedy with out really utilizing the phrases. For my part, I VERY MUCH doubt that such a sleight of hand was supposed.
A LIST OF MENTAL HEALTH PRACTITIONERS IN INDIA
Checklist of Psychological Well being Practitioners for Younger Adults at Nominal Price or Free: https://t.co/6TNFeJww73#mentalhealth #youngadults
— Mahima Kukreja 🌱🌈✊🏽 (@AGirlOfHerWords) June 24, 2018
WOMEN. ASKING FOR MONEY. INDIA.
It may be laborious to see {that a} girl is asking for cash for spending time speaking to her followers. Possibly we predict that it’s “simply speaking”. How can anybody ask for cash for that?
Culturally, throughout most households in India, we’re introduced up to have a look at cash as “soiled”. Asking for cash is a big downside – we don’t ask for a increase, we underprice ourselves consistently and we really feel beholden to somebody who does pay us for our companies / merchandise.
Asking to be paid for my time has been one of many greatest challenges that I’ve needed to overcome. Individuals in India are totally shameless about sending an e mail asking to select your mind over a one hour cellphone name in order that they will then use the knowledge to launch their very own enterprise. This from fully random strangers – I’m not speaking about buddies / and even acquaintances. Lastly, I bit the bullet and determined to begin sending them a hyperlink to my One-on-One Consulting web page. “However Naina, it’s only a name.” For you possibly. I’m constructing my very own stuff in the meantime and a name will take time away from that and I need to be paid for taking time away from my different revenue-making work.
The reality is that anybody can ask for cash for something.
Additionally it is true that there’s a marketplace for every thing. Simply because I’m not prepared or capable of pay for it, doesn’t imply there isn’t a one in a position and / or prepared to pay for it.
One of many feedback about Santoshi’s video mentioned, “She has hundreds of younger followers and that is deceptive for them. Younger, corruptible minds.” This was adopted by one other remark by somebody who mentioned, “She ought to attempt making an account on OnlyFans and ask for cash there.”
So there aren’t any younger corruptible minds on OnlyFans? You suppose solely +18 12 months outdated human beings signal as much as watch OnlyFans content material? How is having an OnlyFans account meant to be an insult? Girls are claiming their sexuality on-line, greater than ever earlier than. If somebody desires to indicate their physique and ask for cash for exhibiting it, that’s their alternative. In the event that they perceive issues like consent and company, even higher. Numerous conservative women and men can’t deal with this free expression!
WHAT DID I THINK ABOUT SANTOSHI’S OFFER
I used to be barely alarmed by her provide as a result of there’ll undoubtedly be of us who pays the 1500 bucks after which get abusive or attempt to get inappropriate. How was she going to make sure her personal security?
At worst, it was not a really well-thought out concept. It’s the job of greatest family and friends to be supportive, that will help you shine your gentle brighter, to encourage you to dwell your greatest life. Particularly when they’re additionally on the receiving finish of the cash you make. Be very cautious of taking recommendation from those that would possibly solely be making an attempt to push you to make an increasing number of cash with out contemplating the long-term consequence that YOU should dwell with, not them. I don’t know what Santoshi’s family and friends are like. Possibly they don’t seem to be bothered by the financial side of Santoshi’s work. Possibly they already come from a rich household. I don’t know.
WHAT DID I THINK OF THE RESPONSES TO SANTOSHI’S VIDEO
The response to her IGTV video is disgusting. However not stunning within the least.
Asking individuals for his or her hard-earned cash, particularly throughout the occasions of COVID19, ought to have much more than typical consideration and thought behind it, for my part. It’s simply the extra respectable factor to do.
It’s okay to ask for cash. For something. Asking doesn’t imply getting although. It’s okay to experiment too. The factor is, if you happen to’ve all the time been respectful of others, then it’s simpler to experiment and fail and are available again gracefully for one more experiment. The general public is definitely VERY forgiving. Particularly in India. Individuals perceive.
COVID19 although, sadly, signifies that plenty of us have much more time at hand to remark, eat and complain. Even small errors have a tendency to come back underneath a magnifying glass and we’re very glad to leap in and kind out that nasty remark which we’d in any other case by no means dream of claiming to somebody’s face.
MY EXPERIMENT WITH “BUY ME A BEER”
To share my very own instance, I just lately added a product to my retailer. The product is named “Purchase me a beer“. It’s for Rs. 500. My premise was that for the final 16 years, I’ve been sharing every thing without cost on my weblog and for a shorter time, on my YouTube channel and podcast. I’ve responded to hundreds of DMs on Instagram. I’ve engaged with a whole bunch of people that come as much as me in actual life and I’ve shared my expertise with them freely. And typically, individuals provide to ship me stuff as a approach of claiming “thanks”. Or point out that “Wow, thanks! I want I may return the favor.”
I’ve heard this SO many occasions and I normally don’t like accepting presents as a result of I can’t management what somebody sends. What if I don’t prefer it? Will it’s impolite to simply throw it within the trash? Is somebody anticipating a social media submit about their reward? Sure. I’m an over-thinker.
However beer? I really like beer.
It’s a cute approach for somebody to say “thanks”. On the similar time, it doesn’t imply that I’m really going to purchase beer value Rs. 500 and drink it every time somebody buys me one. I’ve no plans of turning into an alcoholic. I assumed that was apparent.
Somebody made a pretend checking account on my retailer and didn’t purchase me a beer however did go away a notice saying “seedhe seedhe bol na donation chahiye”. Boss, donation hee toh maang rahi hoon. Aap donation de rahe ho kya? Ab primary us paise se beer khareedoon ya dildo, tumko kya?
THE ONLINE LANGUAGE
The best way on-line advertising and marketing and even on-ground advertising and marketing works, the language we use makes a giant distinction in whether or not our message converts to an precise sale. A buddy of mine really useful that I’d in all probability get extra donations if I mentioned “purchase me a espresso” as a substitute of “purchase me a beer” as a result of many of the Indian viewers that’s on-line, stigmatizes alcohol.
I agree with their evaluation. However, I really like beer and I’m not going to vary that message simply due to that evaluation. There’s a line one should draw, as a creator and an entrepreneur the place we resolve how a lot we’re going to vary who we’re and what we do simply because the viewers does or doesn’t prefer it.
If I had targeted a lot on what the viewers needed and what the market was prepared to pay for, I’d have executed very various things with my life.
I make no claims that if you happen to purchase me a beer, you’ll really feel higher or I’ll really feel higher. It’s a easy transaction. If in case you have ever discovered one thing helpful in what I say / do, purchase me a beer. Or don’t.
That was in all probability one other concern with Santoshi’s message. The phrases used have been on the traces of “I’ve been informed that I’ve nice vitality and also you pay me and I’ll speak to you and also you would possibly discover it inspirational”. It sounds a bit smug, which I extremely doubt she is. However that’s the issue with on-line communication. It will possibly sound like one million various things to one million totally different individuals.
WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN DONE DIFFERENTLY
You actually need to have proof of idea first. For instance, if Santoshi has spoken to her followers over a cellphone name beforehand, and the fan has reported again with constructive suggestions, then there could possibly be one thing there. If she has spoken with a number of followers and ALL the suggestions has been constructive, then there’s positively one thing there. If there’s one thing you’ve executed that’s proven outcomes and you’ve got proof to show it, then there’s a chance to bundle it in a sure approach and monetize it. ( And fuck those that say “Not every thing needs to be monetized.” )
After the above, speak about it with a number of people who find themselves not your shut family and friends. Assuming you’ve already spoken with family and friends and none of them have informed you to cease.
Hearken to the laborious suggestions and give it some thought. It could possibly be ineffective but it surely’s an awesome alternative to consider it nonetheless.
When you’ve executed the above, don’t ask your viewers about it. Launch the fucking factor. Maintain it so simple as attainable. Do A, you get B. That’s it. What downside are you fixing, how is it going to assist the shopper, how they will get the answer.
Launching half-ready signifies that you’ll instantly see evident holes in it and attempt to repair it earlier than it fucks you up. And it would fuck you up.
In the event you’re apprehensive about whether or not it can work on not, do a freebie first. “First 5 individuals get a one hour name without cost!” See how that goes after which tweak. It’ll bolster your confidence AND provide you with worthwhile suggestions without cost. Use it.
A lot of micro launches after which the large launch simply feels such as you’re going with the circulate.
Additionally, licensed psychological well being practitioners shitting on Santoshi was nice as a result of that was ensuring that these have been those I’d keep away from if I ever needed to advocate some at any level.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR SANTOSHI
She apologized publicly. ( Yeah yeah, I do know she didn’t use the phrase “sorry”. OMG. The world is ending! )
Though your complete world and their daddy rained down on Santoshi, I’ve completely zero doubts that she had individuals emailing her on that e mail tackle, expressing their curiosity in speaking along with her and paying her for it.
Speaking to individuals for an hour – she mentioned 4 individuals in every week and I virtually handed out – it’s EXHAUSTING. I do these Instagram Profile Critiques for half-hour per session and solely 5 individuals in a month and I’m fucking DRAINED. Take into consideration your individual psychological peace first.
THE ISSUES I HAD WITH WHAT WAS SAID IN THE VIDEO
“I can’t be speaking about X as a result of there’s sufficient details about it on-line already.”
The variety of occasions I’ve used that excuse to delay doing pictures workshops and even on-line model constructing workshops, is astounding. Sure there’s sufficient details about virtually every thing on the web. To make use of an analogy, there’s sufficient individuals on the planet too. There’s positively no want for extra individuals. But, billions of us, get up every day and try to be higher, do higher and LIVE and LOVE. Your voice is yours. Possibly you educate in such a approach and specific concepts in such a approach that individuals discover extra endearing and straightforward to comply with and therefore discover extra worth in.
In the event you’ve executed one thing that has proven outcomes. That you’ve got some type of proof for. Then you’ll be able to promote that talent. Regardless of how many individuals earlier than you may need shared their very own expertise. There’s a market and viewers for every thing.
THE ISSUES I HAD WITH SOME OF THE RESPONSES TO THE VIDEO
There was a typical slew of objectification and makes an attempt to disgrace her for her look. Fuck these individuals.
“In the event you’re within the public eye, be ready to be taken down. It’s the value you pay for all that fame.”
I imply, I stroll on the street additionally – it’s a reasonably public place. In the event you’re going to assault me bodily / verbally saying that it’s the value I’m paying for strolling on the street – I assume that’s the excuse individuals have been utilizing to truly harass ladies on the streets in India anyway. Unsurprising that that’s translated to on-line abuse.
The above isn’t true by the way in which – in case it wasn’t clear. Nobody deserves abuse.
The entire thing appears surreal to me. If it was the BJP IT Cell doing this, I may have completely acquired it. However educated individuals misplaced their shit fairly publicly. As whether it is their ethical duty to convey down a stranger on the web. “How can she get away with this when my life is so depressing? So I have to maker her life depressing as effectively.”
And let’s not overlook the “you may get arrested” threats. LOL. I’m not a lawyer however purely from the content material of the video, there aren’t any grounds for arrest, even from the AYUSH ministry pointers.
On-line influencers / well-liked persons are the bottom hanging fruit in relation to assaults like these. Have we ever seen or heard a single apology from legit criminals and charlatans who function underneath the guise of gurus and holy women and men? They make false guarantees to legitimately poor individuals and cheat them and other people DIE. However it’s far simpler for us privileged armchair activists to go away a touch upon Santoshi’s Instagram I suppose. It’s far too harmful to go after the actual crooks who’ve the Authorities’s backing.
In any case, in that state of affairs, the commentors could possibly be arrested for defamation as a substitute!
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