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NFL Playoffs Championship Video games 2023: 49ers, Eagles, Chiefs, Bengals mascots face off

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We’ve all heard the outrageous and hypothetical matchups between members of the animal kingdom. It normally begins with certainly one of your folks getting a bit too inebriated earlier than they flip to you and ask, “Who do you assume would win in a battle: 10 silverback gorillas or 1,000 rats?”

After taking a second to remind your self that this particular person IS a sensible and first rate human being, you resolve to humor them with a reliable reply. That turns into much more questions and that stirs up even additional debate.

Clearly the reply to the aforementioned query is the ten gorillas — and no, I can’t be accepting any counter arguments.

Now, let’s think about this exact same scenario however swap these animals with the mascots for every of the remaining 4 NFL groups taking part in on this weekend’s convention championship video games.

Additionally, by mascots, I imply the literal beings that they signify (not the folks in big furry costumes), so the Eagles are an actual eagle and the Bengals are a bonafide tiger. Cool, proper? I assumed so.

With out additional ado, let’s get to the story of the tape.

NFC Championship: 49ers vs. Eagles

Fighter: Sourdough Sam, a miner from 1849 who trekked throughout the nation for the possibility to strike it wealthy in Northern California
Peak: 5’8
Weight: 140 kilos
Weapon of selection: A rusty pickaxe that’s seen higher days

Vs.

Fighter: A bald eagle bursting on the seams with freedom
Peak: 3 foot (6-foot-5 wingspan)
Weight: 14 kilos
Weapon of selection: Razor-sharp two-inch talons

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Choice: Sourdough Sam by TKO

Finally, I consider this one finally ends up going to Sourdough Sam however not with out a powerful efficiency by the bald eagle.

Within the yr 2023, the typical male is sort of a bit bigger than over 170 years in the past — they usually’d nonetheless doubtless be scared out of their minds on the sight of a bald eagle dive-bombing them from above. However these miners have been merely constructed totally different again then. Plus, he has a pickaxe.

I imply, these dudes would merely peace out from their households and WALK themselves all the best way to the west coast for an extremely minuscule likelihood that they’d MAYBE discover some gold nuggets in a random riverbed. Most people this point in time get large nervousness about answering a telephone name! These prospectors took an unfathomable quantity of risks straight to the chest, which tells me they’d stand agency, pickaxe in hand, ready for the possibility to knock the eagle out of the sky with a well-timed swing.

However let’s stay awake on the eagle’s dedication. Similar to the NFL fan base he represents, this feathered power received’t be stored down by a number of good wallops. So long as he can nonetheless flap his wings, he’ll preserve coming and coming.

However in the long run, Sourdough Sam solely wants one good shot to erase the eagle’s benefit: Mobility. One efficient clip to the wing and it’s recreation over.

AFC Championship: Bengals vs. Chiefs

Fighter: A behemoth Bengal tiger who has in all probability by no means recognized concern
Peak: 10 foot (on their hind legs)
Weight: 500 kilos
Weapon of selection: Power to crush a cranium in a single swipe

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Vs.

Fighter: A grey wolf with immeasurable confidence to go at this alone
Peak: 5’0 (on their hind legs)
Weight: 145 kilos
Weapon of selection: An awesome want to guard its territory

Choice: Bengal tiger in an amazing victory

I want I might make this one a bit extra fascinating, however you must assume this goes to the tiger in a landslide. The Bengal is nearly 4 occasions as heavy and twice the dimensions of the wolf, who usually would solely tackle such an opponent like this with its pack behind him. On this case, he’s flying solo.

One may assume that the wolf’s smaller measurement signifies that’s he’s additionally extra cell and evasive. This truly isn’t the case. A tiger can attain speeds as quick as 40 miles per hour, which is greater than sufficient to match, and even outpace, his enemy.

In case you have been to Google the query, “What number of wolves might take down a tiger?” you’d get a lot of solutions starting from 5 or 6 wolves to nicely over 15 to twenty. One remark thread concerning this very subject on Quora.com features a story from Siberia the place a single tiger was supposedly attacked by a whole wolf pack. The tiger killed 12 of the wolves and left the scuffle alive.

I went on to study that in locations the place each tigers and wolves co-exist, the tigers are literally at fault for killing wolves to close extinction!

If there was ever a lop-sided battle throughout the animal kingdom, that is it!

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